Separation and divorce can be deeply challenging for families. When communication breaks down, children may become caught in the middle of parental conflict. In some situations, one parent may intentionally or unintentionally influence a child to reject the other. This has historically been referred to or known as ‘parental alienation’ (now more commonly referred to a ‘alienating behaviours’ and can cause significant emotional harm to both parent and child.
Recognising and addressing alienating behaviours early is vital to protect the child’s wellbeing and preserve healthy family relationships.
What are Alienating Behaviours?
When a child becomes resistant to or fearful of a parent without valid reason, often as a result of psychologically manipulative behaviours, intended or otherwise, by a parent towards a child which have resulted in the child’s reluctance, resistance or refusal to spent time with the other parent. This may involve making negative or misleading comments, discouraging contact, withholding information about the child’s activities, or creating feelings of guilt around spending time with the other parent.
These behaviours are distinct from situations where a child’s reluctance arises from genuine concerns, such as safety or past conduct. Identifying the underlying cause is crucial, as taking action without understanding the full context can risk worsening the child’s emotional wellbeing and damaging their relationship with both parents.
Recognising the Signs
Signs of alienating behaviours can include a sudden change in a child’s attitude, strong rejection without explanation, or the use of adult language and accusations they cannot fully understand. The child may deny positive experiences with the alienated parent or display fear or hostility that appears disproportionate to any past events. Over time, the child may become increasingly resistant to contact and show unwavering support for the favoured parent, even in situations where both parents previously shared a close bond.
These behaviours should not be overlooked. Early involvement from legal and other professionals is essential to identify whether alienation is occurring, understand its underlying causes, and implement measures to protect the child’s emotional wellbeing and preserve a healthy parent-child relationship.
How Does the Court Approach Parental Alienation?
The Family Court’s primary focus is always the child’s welfare. Where there is evidence that a child’s reluctance, resistance or refusal to spent time with one parent is believed to stem from the actions of another the court has a range of powers to intervene and protect the child’s best interests. These may include:
- Instructing CAFCASS or an independent expert (including an Independent Social Worker) to assess the family circumstances.
- Making or varying child arrangements orders to re-establish or maintain contact.
- Requiring attendance at parenting or therapeutic programmes to address harmful behaviours.
- In serious cases, changing (temporarily or permanently) the child’s residence to the other parent.
The court’s objective is to ensure that children are supported to maintain positive and meaningful relationships with both parents wherever it is safe and appropriate to do so.
Steps You Can Take
If you suspect alienating behaviours or are concerned about your child’s changing views on spending time arrangements, remain calm and focused on your child’s needs. Avoid confrontation or criticism, as this may reinforce negative perceptions. Keeping detailed records of contact arrangements, missed time, and communication can provide valuable evidence if legal action becomes necessary.
Seeking early legal advice is essential. A solicitor can help explore options such as mediation, negotiation, or a court application where appropriate. Professional support from therapists or counsellors can also help rebuild trust and improve communication between parents and children.
Key Considerations
The impact of parental alienation can be long-lasting if not addressed effectively. Prioritising the child’s emotional wellbeing, fostering open and positive communication, and seeking professional guidance can help rebuild trust, restore balance, and protect family relationships in the long term.
We Can Help
Parental alienation cases require sensitivity, experience, and a clear understanding of family law. Our specialist team can provide practical guidance and legal support to help you protect your child’s wellbeing and rebuild your relationship.
If you are concerned about parental alienation or need advice on managing contact issues, contact us to discuss your options.
