What is mediation and is it for me?

What is mediation?

Mediation is an alternative dispute resolution process aimed to give you and your former partner/spouse the space to discuss the decisions that need to be made which impact upon you and, if you have them, your children.  It is a process which is focussed on achieving resolution and looking to the future.

What does a mediator do?

I am a Resolution trained all issues mediator.  This means I can mediate in relation to matters arising out of your separation/divorce.   In particular:

• formalising your separation, child arrangements, and financial issues;
• helping improve communication;
• working with you to achieve cooperative parenting.

I will be impartial and I will not take sides.   I can give information and speak to you both generally about legal principles but, despite also being a family lawyer, I will not give you legal advice.    My role as a mediator is to help facilitate the discussions between you to move forward and make progress, explore solutions and reach decisions.

Whilst I will not dictate the issues or the agenda, I will manage the process, look forward (not backwards) and ensure it is working for both of you.  If it is making matters worse or is unproductive, I will discuss with you whether mediation can and should continue.

I will draft documents reflecting any agreements reached and discussions had within mediation for further discussion with your family lawyer.

How does mediation work?

Mediation isn’t suitable for everyone and it is important to ensure that it will be a positive experience for both parties.  Before proceeding, it is necessary for both of you to attend an individual and confidential meeting with me.  I will explain the process, explore any questions, worries, concerns you may have.  The individual meeting will usually last approximately 1 hour.

These meetings also give you the chance to make sure I am the right mediator for you.  If you both wish to proceed, and it is appropriate to do so, we can them move to joint sessions.

I believe for mediation to be successful it is important for you both to open and honest about the options without being ‘strategic’.

How many sessions will we need?

Each mediation session will last approximately 1.5-2 hours.  As a general rule of thumb on average 3-6 sessions will be required but this will depend on your circumstances and the matters to be discussed.

What are the benefits of mediation?

There are many benefits to mediation, especially when compared to a court process.  Here are just a few:

Flexibility

• You set the agenda.
• Meetings can be at a time convenient to you and your former partner/spouse. You manage the pace and time between sessions.
• We can pause mediation to enable you both:
  • To take ongoing advice
  • To obtain further information such as valuations, joint advice from actuaries, IFA’s other professionals
  • To arbitrate specific issues of contention before returning to mediation

Communication

• You get to speak and be heard throughout the process.
• We can agree how you will both be heard and what you need to do to ensure this moving forward.
• I will facilitate dialogue and discussions between you and aid you both through difficult conversations or impasses.

Privacy

• Mediation is a confidential process.  
• For couples where one or other may be in the public eye, mediation is an attractive process that will maintain the privacy.

Speed

• It will be quicker and cheaper than a court process.
• You can agree the timing and frequency of sessions to suit you.
• You can use mediation alongside other process options such as arbitration.

Cost effective

Each party usually pays their own costs, unless an alternative arrangement is reached between you.  Our charges for each party for individual and joint mediation sessions are very competitive. 

If you wish to discuss our mediation service further, please do not hesitate to contact me here.

By Emma